may all your bacon burn

‘Go to bed, you fool,’ Calcifer said sleepily. ‘You’re drunk.’

‘Who, me?’ said Howl. ‘I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober.’ He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him unless he kept in touch with it. His bedroom door did escape him. ‘What a lie that was!’ Howl remarked as he walked into the wall. ‘My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.’ He walked into the wall several times more, in several different places, before he discovered his bedroom door and crashed his way through it. Sophie could hear him falling about, saying that his bed was dodging.